You’ve clearly ruled the planet for eons, hypothetically the more superstitious realms may have initially believed giving their maidens to you as sacrificial victims is an additional way of appeasing you.

“Do you wish to make a virgin sacrifice to the Shogun of Sorrow?”

So you’ve obviously had ahem undefiled maidens sacrificed to you in the past?

“Why do you ask?”

leaves aku a handheld rechargeable massager for a gift

“…”

Aku was unsure what the purpose of this gift was. He had picked it up to examine it when his finger hit something and the device started buzzing.

“WHA—?”

Jealousy doesn’t suit you, Aku. If you want food gifts so badly, I can get you some.

“I am NOT jealous.”

Aku heres what your possible future might be in 50 years into the possible future you will have 7 daughters who will inherited your powers and one of your future daughters named Ashi will meet samurai Jack then you will mind control Ashi to capture samurai Jack but then your future daughter Ashi will betray you by freeing samurai Jack and sending herself and samurai Jack back to the past to defeat you so what do you think of this possible future?

First, there was silence.

Then came a deep growl under his breath…

Finally he spoke, his words slow and measured; “I have foreseen that future in a vision and I have begun taking steps to avoid it.”

I always imagined Aku smelling like burnt wood. You know, since he’s an evil tree wizard. :P

For some reason burnt wood smells like burnt toast to me. Unless it’s in a campfire. …I can picture Aku smelling like a campfire.

Holds up cellphone in speechless amazement to take a picture without flash.

One look from Aku and the cellphone went up in flames, exploding soon after.

“CHAMBERLAIN! Who allowed this TOURIST into my tower??”

Can you fart?

“Darkness does not fart, fool.”

~~Unless you put a whoopee cushion under it~~.

What do you think is up with the High Priestess? This woman tortured her (and yours) children, allowed her fellow cultists to be killed and most of all, decided to drink the black goo that is essentially you. What was she thinking?

“I can only speculate her intentions but I believe she did all of these things in an effort to appease me, her Lord and Master. Through pain and strict discipline, she had hoped to cultivate blind devotion and loyalty in the minds of our daughters. But in the end her extreme methods proved unsuccessful.”

(Idiot anon who may have accidentally gave Aku ideas) H-hey, Aku. About that thing that you might have over-heard from me when I was talking to Jack… You might as well ignore it. S-seriously. It was really stupid thing to think of. Besides, Jack would probably stop you before you could accomplish your goal, right? So, it’s p-probably not worth the effort even trying…

“I know not what you are talking about, Dearest Anon.”