Oh, he was going to pick him up, was he? If only the bumbling fool would put him on, Black would show him why one should never mess with the Hat. Sides still sizzling from where he’d been prodded and pushed around he cursed inwardly. This was a damned disaster.
Hissing and spitting, even squirming in Aku’s grasp, he couldn’t even form words, only feel the emotions in tenfold as they crashed over him like a tidal wave. Fury. Rage. Embarassment. Was that? It was! Fear, something he’d never experienced, was clear and present; thank hell he didn’t have a face to read. Aku and Black both knew damn well one could kill the other here, not even break a sweat doing so.
The question was, would he?
It took a moment, but Black eventually grew coherent enough through his anger to ‘speak’, refusing to play into the Yokai’s game.
[You’ve made a mess of my manor, insulted me, destroyed my host and taken my belongings. What you should do? You should FUCKING leave before you regret your actions any more than I will make you regret them in the future.]
Aku was well acquainted with fear. It had a certain distinguished aroma that he could smell and taste. And no matter the source, it always smelled the same.
“I think you know as well as I how much worse I could do. I could destroy you here and now with this sword. I could sell your secrets to your friends who dance or I could spill them to the entire universe.” The demon rose as he addressed each of Black Hat’s fears directly, the hat clutched in one hand, the sword in the other. It was clear to him who was the supreme being here.
“But I cannot deny your point—I have taken what I came for and I have no reason to stay,” he acknowledged. “Furthermore, I have already determined what I will do with you…”
Black Hat would be left to guess what that might be as Aku winded his way through the hallways of the manor like a giant flying serpent until he reached the trophy room. Entering it, he used his magic to lift a glass viewing case. Contained inside was an unmarked bottle which he knocked carelessly aside, shattering it. He then placed the crumpled hat in its place and lowered the case over it, sealing it inside.
“Just as I thought, you look good behind glass.” Laughing, his dark form spiraled in on itself as Aku teleported away, leaving Black Hat as a display in his own trophy room.
If the hat had possessed eyes to roll, he certainly would have been rolling them. What an embarrassment in EVERY sense of the word, letting AKU of all people see his basic form. The laughter grated on his every last nerve and the hat twitched, teeth gnashing inside the brim out of sight.
He would have to kill Aku quickly if he didn’t want this sensitive information getting out, which would be a damn pain if Aku had the sword.
Though, as he laughed, the yokai swung the blade down to point at him and the hat couldn’t help but flinch away, his surprise turning to fury as the demon actually used it to push him over.
A horrendous squealing, ear piercing shrieking noise both filled the room and didn’t even exist at the same time, the smell of death and decay raising up in a thin wisp of smoke as the blessed katana made contact and ignited a small spark of flame.
Furious, gnashing teeth were revealed on the underside, rows and rows of razor sharp canines Aku might recongize for their mint shade in the host’s mouth minutes before. There was no back of the hat OR mouth to be seen, just endless rows of scissoring, drooling teeth as a forked tongue came out and curled up like a snake.
One thing was for sure, Black Hat did not like this one damn bit.
Well someone certainly had a bee in his bonnet… though on closer inspection it looked more like a lamprey from Hell. Regardless of the little creature’s angry screams, Aku found only amusement in his distress. Grinning like a cat who caught the canary, Aku used the blade to flip the hat into an upright position so that it rested on its brim. The dangerous toothy side seemed to be isolated to the brim and inside but the top of the hat looked completely vulnerable. He could probably run the sword through it and destroy the parasite permanently but Aku was having too much fun watching it suffer.
“Oh I have my doubts about that, seeing as I now know both of your greatest weaknesses, Hat.” The shortened moniker he used for Black Hat was now more fitting than ever, much to his delight.
“Now then…” He drew the sword aside and crouched low, his ‘knees’ jutting out at sharp angles to either side. The top of the hat was suddenly crushed in the demon’s large claws as he grasped it in his merciless grip.
[KNOWLEDGE OF BLACK HAT’S TRUE FORM IS LOCKED TO UNSPEAKABLEVIL ONLY, NO DASH COMMENTARY ALLOWED]
Black Hat’s laugh was interrupted by the sudden LACK OF HOST underneath him, the strength of Aku’s anger and physical prowess whacking him clean off the head and brain he clung to. He would be lying if he said hitting the wall in his basic form didn’t hurt like hell, sliding to the floor like a common piece of headwear would had it not been a demonic parasite from the deepest reaches of hell.
The hand grasping the sword stayed rigid– the whole FORM rigid as a board as the gray tone of his skin melted off. Features softened, teeth flattened, and the monocle on his face fell to shatter on the floor, revealing a gaping hole where his eye had once been. Shocked, the host blinked, looking around as if he had just awakened from a coma.
A confused whine escaped the now human male’s form as his hands flew to his head, a symphony of emotions ranging from happiness at FREEDOM and ending in FEAR cascading across his face.
how long had it been who was this where was he why couldn’t he hear the hat why was he alone why wAS HE ALONE WHY WAS HE ALONE?
Form rapidly deteriorated – Black Hat had KNOWN he had to choose a new host after a few hundred years, humans NEVER tended to last long – the man patted himself down only to increase the speed of his declining physical form, hands eventually coming away covered in the ash that had previously been his stomach, then turning to ash themselves.
“Wait wait waIT NO–”
And, after a grueling, guttural scream, all that remained was a pile of ash and a discarded top hat leaning against the wall. The human’s lifespan had long past as a normal human, the only thing keeping him alive the parasite with it’s teeth in his brain.
Should Aku stop to listen, a voice not all there and all around him at the same time spoke, eerily quiet and loud at the same time.
[That was a rash, IMPETUOUS thing to do and not even the MEMORY of you in the people you have met will escape my wrath.]
“BLEH!!” Aku stepped back, the sword still held tight in his grip, as the man before him withered to dust. A HUMAN?! There had been a HUMAN in there this entire time?? The yokai was speechless, this time from shock, as he looked upon the pile of human ashes. Was this a joke? Had he just
accidentally
SLAIN Black Hat with a single swat?
That was when he heard the voice speak as if from everywhere but nowhere. His gaze turned to the top hat where it lay discarded on the floor and the truth suddenly became clear. THE HAT!
Aku’s face twisted into an expression of wicked glee.
“BWAAAAH HAAA HAAA HAHAHAHAHA!!”
His shoulders shook with tremendous, booming laughter for a good long moment, until…
“YOU!” he shouted suddenly, pointing the divine blade’s tip at the hat-shaped creature. “—are in no position to spew such threats to even the lowliest of lifeforms.”
Then, with a cruel sort of curiosity, he nudged the hat using the end of the blade and rolled it over to inspect it. Noway was he going to touch it again with his bare hands but he wasn’t about to leave without getting a better look.
Listening in shocked awe, the eldritch couldn’t even form words.
Him?HELPING? A Chosen One no less?
THE NERVE.
Any attempts at trying to calm himself down were futile at the insinuation that Black Hat was assisting a hero. Even the notion that he would assist anyone had him growling, teeth gnashing in his mouth. Boiling rage bubbled up in his chest, boiling over to the point where he physically grew a foot, hurrying after Aku. This Yokai could stand to learn a thing or two about respect
The Samurai belonged to him, the SWORD belonged to him, and this display of outright disrespect would not fly.
Going so far as to shift out of reality and back into it in front of Aku, Black reached a larger hand up to grab at Aku’s own clawed hand over the hilt, careful not to nick himself with the blade, his tone eerily calm despite the raging fire within. The sword was divine? Black Hat’s wrath was equally opposite, if not more so demonic in nature. HE was not as concerned about wounds as he was making a statement that in this god forsaken mansion, Black Hat was supreme and got what he wanted.
“Give me. The FUCKING. Katana. And you will leave unscathed.”
“This is your final warning.”
Despite Black’s efforts, Aku was just as vehemently stubborn about getting his way as he’d ever been. With his hand still clinched around the sword’s hilt, he shoved his fist against Black’s chest, trapping the sword between them. The divine blade trembled in their combined grip, too close to either one of them for comfort but this didn’t stop Aku from leaning in closer yet, his face twisted in a menacing snarl.
“Relinquish the sword to me or relinquish the Samurai,” the yokai demanded, mirroring Black’s note of impending doom. “This is YOUR final warning, Hat.”
Black Hat was not one to back down from ANY impending threat and only got CLOSER, his growling only getting louder. Aku had to learn some manners before he got Black to do anything he wanted.
A sharp shark toothed grin soon took over Black’s face and he laughed, not caring to bring the volume down as he was right up against Aku. He laughed, in a fit of madness, shaking with hysteria. Final warning? That was funny indeed. Black Hat wasn’t aware Aku had a sense of humor, but he was humorous all the same. A final warning? Him?
L̷̰̜̣̤̝̰AU̘̠̯̘G͖̳͓H͓̭͈͈̻͜A̴B̻͖̥͞L̲̘͉̲E̬̲ͅ.͙͎̣̭̱̻͈
“You say that like I should be SCARED of you when we all know you’re just a common household demon.”
Common household demon??
Visibly enraged, Aku gnashed his teeth as he uttered a string of incomprehensible grumbles and growls that grew louder and louder the longer he struggled to express his anger. The fact of the matter was he was simply too livid to form words, which made him even MORE livid. But one thing was certain—this level of disrespect would not go unpunished. If he couldn’t match the petty onslaught of insults with words, he would do so with equally petty actions.
As a sudden act of impulse, he swung his claws toward Black’s head and—
BAP!
—slapped the hat clean off, sending it toppling to the floor.
Listening in shocked awe, the eldritch couldn’t even form words.
Him?HELPING? A Chosen One no less?
THE NERVE.
Any attempts at trying to calm himself down were futile at the insinuation that Black Hat was assisting a hero. Even the notion that he would assist anyone had him growling, teeth gnashing in his mouth. Boiling rage bubbled up in his chest, boiling over to the point where he physically grew a foot, hurrying after Aku. This Yokai could stand to learn a thing or two about respect
The Samurai belonged to him, the SWORD belonged to him, and this display of outright disrespect would not fly.
Going so far as to shift out of reality and back into it in front of Aku, Black reached a larger hand up to grab at Aku’s own clawed hand over the hilt, careful not to nick himself with the blade, his tone eerily calm despite the raging fire within. The sword was divine? Black Hat’s wrath was equally opposite, if not more so demonic in nature. HE was not as concerned about wounds as he was making a statement that in this god forsaken mansion, Black Hat was supreme and got what he wanted.
“Give me. The FUCKING. Katana. And you will leave unscathed.”
“This is your final warning.”
Despite Black’s efforts, Aku was just as vehemently stubborn about getting his way as he’d ever been. With his hand still clinched around the sword’s hilt, he shoved his fist against Black’s chest, trapping the sword between them. The divine blade trembled in their combined grip, too close to either one of them for comfort but this didn’t stop Aku from leaning in closer yet, his face twisted in a menacing snarl.
“Relinquish the sword to me or relinquish the Samurai,” the yokai demanded, mirroring Black’s note of impending doom. “This is YOUR final warning, Hat.”
Calming down, Black Hat took a moment to compose himself, then another to straighten his jacket in disbelief. This demon was REALLY stepping over the line here, and was Hat going to stand for it?
No he was most certainly not!
Breathing heavily, almost labored even, Black Hat growled. Hands clenched and unclenched at his sides, and he stalked after Aku, and he had to struggle to keep a low volume in his voice. Wouldn’t want to shatter the nice windows, would he?
“I don’t think you’re grasping the GRAVITY of the situation, DEMON. You can’t just come into my house, demand my things, and kill my employees.”
“Especially with your mediocre swordsmanship.”
Employee?? BLECH! What kind of operation was Black Hat running? The yokai couldn’t help but to pause his search and turn to Black with a snarl.
“I understand with perfect clarity that you are trying to HIDE the Samurai from me. But you are a fool to think I will not find him just as you were a fool to reanimate him for your own enjoyment. He is not some ordinary mortal. He is a Chosen One, and you have already played into his fate as such by restoring his existence and leaving the sword for him to reclaim!”
Once again, Aku lifted his head to sniff the air. Then, like a giant flying serpent, he twisted his way through the corridor in search of Samurai Jack, the sword still clasped tightly in his fist. He knew Black Hat would continue to make an obstacle of himself but the yokai was not about to leave this place without either destroying the Samurai or taking the sword.
Threats. He was giving threats, and expecting this not to blow up in his face later? Bold, very bold of him indeed. He better keep that sword on him or Black Hat was going to make him regret everything.
“Quick and easy. Right. As if I’d ever take orders from a B List Villain such as yourself.”
It didn’t keep Black from growling and retreating a step, baring his teeth like an animal to SNARL, almost as if he wanted to rip the other entity’s face off right then. Even faced with possible death, he refused to cooperate.
“You make me SICK, you embarrassment! Using a divine blade against one of your own. I’ve kept him out of your hair, even tormented him more than you could EVER have dreamed of!”
Was that FEAR he detected? Aku would be awfully amused by that if Black hadn’t opened his mouth to spew his pathetic vitriol and spoil the moment. Of all the times to choose to hurl insults, now was not a wise one. Aku kept the blade aggressively steady while he bristled with fury at Black’s refusal to cooperate.
“I AM NOT THE ONE GRANTING LIFE TO HEROES, BOARDING THEM IN MY HOME AND OFFERING THEM PROTECTION FROM THEIR ENEMIES. YOU ARE A TRAITOR TO VILLAIN-KIND!”
The yokai swept a hand through the air in a decisive gesture. He’d had enough of Black’s games. There was a Samurai who needed to die. Again.
“Out of my way! I will find the Samurai and finish him MYSELF.” Just as they say, ‘when you want something done right…’ Unlike the stationary trophy room, a panicked Samurai could be hiding anywhere in the mansion. However, he would not be able to hide the scent of his rushing blood and Aku raised his head to sniff the air. Already, he caught a faint scent and turned toward the hall.
Kill the samurai? Black Hat had taken his soul and kept the mortal far away from Aku, was he really this sure it would all end in disaster? What little faith, it was almost sad to witness.
Before he could even ask why Aku thought Black would ever pay him, he disappeared. Did he leave? No, that would render his whole argument moot. There were only a few places Black could figure he went to, and he shadowstepped to several rooms before finding the Yokai in his trophy room.
Holding the divine blade.
Shit.
Instantly his demeanor changed, holding his hands up as if to suggest he wasn’t a threat. It was in here for a reason, next to some of his more breakable possessions. Damn fool, always trying to get his way even when that way was more work than it was worth.
“Aku, don’t do something STUPID you’ll regret. Put it back before you get hurt.”
“Before I get hurt?” Oh. That was rich. Aku couldn’t help but let the amusement slip into his voice and spread across his face. “It sounds to me like YOU are the one afraid of being hurt. Between the Samurai and your dancing friends, one might assume you’d want it…taken off your hands.”
As Aku saw it, he was doing Black a favor by removing the sword and taking it to a location far less infiltrated by heroes. The yokai gripped the sword tightly by the hilt and held the blade to his face to inspect and sniff it, as if to be sure this was the genuine article. Once satisfied he pointed the blade at Black Hat as if it were an extra finger.
“Now then, let’s make this quick and easy, shall we? Summon for me your Samurai servant so I may slaughter him and be on my way.”
An ultimatum, huh? This just got very serious indeed, and Black Hat stood, one visible eye blinking slowly. Who did Aku think he was, the grand master of everything? Demanding things and yelling at people when they did not act like slaves? Hah! Fat chance Black Hat would do ANYTHING for someone else without having at least three other goals in mind.
“Do you think I care what you have to say?”
A rhetorical question, really, when Aku was an embarrassment to their small little family of ancient evil.
“Especially since I have yet to see an increase of four googolplex?”
“There are RULES in place, Aku, and he can touch that sword no more than you or I. It’s almost funny, he hasn’t even tried yet. Perhaps he IS smarter than I gave him credit for— smart enough to know who is the bigger threat when stepping into a room with me.”
To all of this, Aku gave a derisive laugh. After all, between himself and the businesscreature, he was confident that it was HE who was the greater threat.
“PAH! If that’s what you think then you are woefully misinformed. You will be seeing a DECREASE of 2.5 googolplex because it is I who must kill the Samurai. If anything, you should be sending ME payment for saving you from your own idiocy!”
Aku turned away and vanished in a great plume of black smoke… only to reappear elsewhere in the mansion almost instantly. Now he stood in Black Hat’s trophy room where he soon spotted the sword (to his relief) and stretched out his claws to grab it.
The Shogun of Sorrow 